Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Dream: Of Mardi Gras, sharks and the mysterious death of Lindsay Lohan.

Date: 24th December, 2012.

In the dream, I didn’t want to do Mardi Gras but I was obliged to attend because of my membership in a GLBTI martial arts club. It was a damn nuisance on a day when I had so many other things to do and so many other places I wanted to be. And what’s more, I was running late. I raced like crazy through hot suburbia to get to the check-in booths, getting lost a few times on the way as I ran down the endless nature strips of hot grass baking in the sun. There was no shade. Eventually, I made it to the stall, which was attended by a disinterested drag queen, but when I showed by woven rainbow bracelet for ID, she told me that the club that had signed me up had already filled its quota of attendees and I’d have to wait to see if there were any cancellations from other affiliated groups. It was exasperating but at the same time, I caught myself thinking this might be an opportunity to back out of this annoying commitment.

While I waited for word, I noticed that Sandra Sully was also in the area. She was getting ready to host the Ten News at 5:00pm and was wearing a large, unflattering pink and blue dress with white spots. It was her newsreading dress, she told me. She revealed that she didn’t like the sports anchor Brad Canning very much at all. In fact, no one did. As I saw him come around the corner, wearing a light blue mink and ermine collar over his clothes like some kind of pompous city mayor, I wasn’t surprised.

As we sat on the bench on the side of the Pacific Highway at my old high school bus stop, I noticed there were sharks. They were flying through the air as though it were water - or perhaps I'd been underwater the entire time and was just breathing it as though it were air. In any case, these vicious monsters, though not tame, had agreed not to attack people - although it was hard to put my faith 100% in that undertaking. Using a sheet for cardboard to create a barrier and bop them away if they came too close, I swam with the sharks of North Sydney.

Police sirens rang out on O’Riordan St, Alexandria.  There'd been a robbery and I was right closeby. The getaway car filled with dudebros sped past me as I stood at the traffic lights and I got in. Everyone was really excited and we ended up daring one another to do the Ice Sheet Cold Swimming Challenge, which was an endurance test, swimming in icy-cold water for as long as possible. We went to the local pool in Lane Cove and got into the water. There were giant ice cubes bobbing around in it.

When I got out, it was dark and the big news of the day was that Lindsay Lohan had died. A video tribute was to be played as well as a publicly televised reading of her will - both of which I'd have to caption. Behind the scenes in the old house, I could hear the celebrities discussing the momentous event in hushed voices as they sat in the toilet cubicles. Kerri-Anne Kennerly told a friend that Lohan's family life had been disturbed and even though official cause of death was being ruled as suicide, everyone knew how it really happened - it was Bert Newton who'd killed Lindsay Lohan.She also whispered (I was eavesdropping on the conversation) that the evidence was still there to be found.

I went up the stairs to Lohan's bedroom and found it a mess. Things were scattered everywhere - a jacket, CDs, a pair of scissors, ribbons, rubber bands and a massage table. The scissors were suspicious and I knew they were somehow connected to her death. I had a psychic flashback and saw how the murder had happened - Lohan lying face-down on the massage table, passed out from taking drugs. From her perspective, I could see the scissors and ribbons on the carpeted floor through the hole in the massage table. As Bert Newton came into the room, the perspective switched back to the third person and froze as a tableau: Newton with the scissors about to stab down on Lohan's spinal cord at the bottom of her neck.

It faded to black.

Later, as her tribute video was screened on the overhead projector, there was some speculation about whether or not Lindsay Lohan had actually died at all. It was thought she might still be out there, waiting for the big reveal and so although the mood was sad, people still held out hope that everything would be OK. But the question was never resolved one way or the other.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Dream: In which I pass the Slayer test. (undated)

There was some kind of terror attack being planned against the Hogwarts Express and I was one of a crack team of operatives assigned to stop it - but first I had to get there. It was a tricky journey using the train line and along the way, it was revealed that I was one of the newly activated Slayers from 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. There were many of us in the world now and it was imperative that I find the others. \

We were on a road, driving along in a car. The grass on either side was very green and there were one or two trees here and there. I got out. I walked down a path through the park until the trees thinned and the ground gave way to sand. I was in the desert from 'Restless', the season four finale, the desert of the mind where the First Slayer lives, and I was alone. I had to walk through the desert by myself, and only after that would I be allowed to be called by my real name.

It was hot and I wasn't wearing any shoes but the sand did not burn my feet and with a great deal of perseverance, I made out of the desert, through the scraggly woods and brush and finally back to the park, dragging a sun-bleached tree branch behind me and now an official Slayer. Zoe Thompsett* was in the car and she called out my name - “Nikki!” I got in and off we went.

 There was a strange black and orange animal that was perched on top of a statue. It looked like a kangaroo crossed with a fruit bat but my guide told me that it was a fox. It was swooping down at us with great, terrifying leathery wings. We shot it down. Turns out there was a bounty on each so-called "fox" killed, by order of the Queen. Her Majesty the Queen was there and was able to clarify the point. I made to toss the carcass in the boot of the car but decided against it in the end. The animal had changed now and was no longer dead. It was now a small, furry, red and white stoat, which I decided to hold in my arms while we drove. As we drove through the country side and down Collins St near my flat in Alexandria, the stoat became agitated and started clawing and biting at my hands. It held on to my index finger with both paws and chomped down on it very hard.

 I was reunited with the other Slayers, my new sisters, while I changed my clothes into a purple evening dress so we could get onto the Hogwarts Express undetected. At the last minute, I decided to add a dark olive-green army vest to the outfit. The effect was reminiscent of Alice from 'Resident Evil'. I'd walked through the desert and was ready to go.

 * Zoe Thompsett - a friend with whom I attended both primary school and high school.